Tomorrow my Alexander starts training at a call center company. He'll be based at Shaw while I'm here at Makati. I said I will be supportive of him and I will. But now I'm just feeling scared because the employees he will be with are people who are mostly of the same age as us. I feel scared that he would meet someone better than I am and I know darn right that this is a fact - that there are others out there who are better than me. Alex said not to worry because he loves me. He said he will always be my Alex and no one else's but then again, he did say once that he doesn't know what he will do when he finds someone better than me...I can only hope and pray that he will be man enough to stand by me. I am doing all that I can do to make him feel that I truly love him. But the question still is that enough for him to stay? Can you tell how insecure I feel right now?

I watched Sex and The City just this morning before I left for work. It was the episode where Carrie and Aden were having relationship problems because of Carrie's recent cheating. You know... I sure could relate to that. And like her, I am truly sorry about hurting Alex before and determined to make things work out all right between us...

Change... It sometimes sucks you know. I'm a person not big on changes in my life. Although I try to be open minded about these things, pessimism sometimes still get the best of me. Oh fart. No matter how I rant anyway, he's still going to work tomorrow. All I can do now is take a deep breath and learn to go with the flow. Must stop worrying about the distant future. Must take things one day at a time. It'll be the only way to get through things, to cope with the changes that are happening in my life. It's the inevitable truth - we're growing up. Anyhow, I still am a romantic. I just have to show Alex how much I love him and how much I want him to stay in my life.

Change - I'm ready for you now!

Woke up late and found my alarm didn't go off. Why? Because my phone was turned off, once again low in battery although just the night before I slept I charged it until it was batt full. I was supposed to wake my boyfriend up at 9 o'clock but I didn't get to do so because I woke up at 10:30 in the morning. I got up and hurriedly prepared myself to go to work - skipped breakfast, skipped my morning Milo/coffee drink and went. Alex tried to call me on my cellphone (for some unexplained reason, it had a signal when it didn't have any since Tuesday night) but whenever I tried to answer, I would lose him. When I got to the office, I tried to explain to him through Yahoo Messenger but he's acting cold towards me. He said he's disappointed with my phone (well I am too) and he wants me to replace it already. I said it can still be repaired because I haven't actually done anything to cure it of it's problem but he's fixated on replacing it. I'm not sure why he can't understand that I don't have the means to do that just yet and that I value my phone because it's a gift from my parents when I graduated last year. I tried to apologize of course because it's my fault my phone is this way right now but he's not budging. I tried to ask him if we could meet tonight and he said "maybe." I logged out of the ym because I'm disappointed and a bit angry at him for being so cold towards me right now. He acts as though I meant for things to be this way when i didn't. This Thursday is already ruined for me.

I haven't blogged for so long and it's because of Twitter. It's this website wherein you can log in and send in a short thought or what you're doing for the day. Do try it. Just go to http://www.twitter.com.