What do you do when you realize that no matter how much you try to make it work, you still end up a failure? That no matter what you do, you just can't please everybody? Move on, that's what. That's exactly what I'm doing now. I'm moving on. Moving on to an unkown future but with a heart full of sadness, determination, hope, faith and happiness. Wherever the wind takes me, I know it will be His will. So thank you SEI people. No matter how unfortunate that things had to be this way between us, from the bottom of my heart thank you. My three months stay had been a real learning process. I will move on now and maybe someday soon we'll see each other again and when we do, I know I am a much better, stronger and wiser person then. Someday...You'll see.

My mini boss, the one who gives me the most stressed among my three superiors at work is leaving to pursue further studies abroad. Today is her last day at work. Tomorrow, I officially am given more responsibilities to take on as I work side by side with my other nicer (except when stressed) boss. It is now up to me to take on the challenge of stepping into the shoes of my soon to be ex-mini boss --- well at least until the time the new girl comes on board the team. I'm not sure what's gonna happen once the newcomer comes in. She won't be my new mini boss that's for sure though. Is it so wickedly insensitive of me to feel so glad about her departure? You see I feel like singing Hallelujah because tomorrow it's BYE! BYE! BYE!

Lately all I can think about is resigning from the company I work for. I dread my mornings when I know I have to wake up and go to work. I dread it when my cell phone starts to beep or ring because it might be my superiors texting or calling me up. They keep telling me to be faster, Liz do this, do that. Be proactive. And I try of course. I just don't know why they think I'm not giving it my all. I'm trying to learn. But learning everything in so little time CANNOT BE. So yesterday morning, my mood was once again dreary, so dreary it matched the rainy weather we have. I went and did my work not knowing that that evening, at 6pm my second superior lays out everything on the table and says to me 'You're not meeting our expectations Liz. Not mine. Not your "mini boss". Not the management basically. And if by the end of August you still don't meet our expectations, we're going to have to let you go.' You know why I'm always dreading coming to work? It's because they all make me feel that even when I'm trying to make things right, I still don't. I can't seem to do things right anymore.

Oh God...There it was laid out on the table and yet, I don't feel exactly happy about the news. My emotions are quite mixed up with feelings of relief and sadness, frustration and anger. Sure I want to leave but this way? I'm overwhelmed with so many new things to do with three superiors all wanting everything done NOW. But there is no excuse. If I'm gonna have to leave, then I must be ready. But the fight isn't over jut yet. I've got this month to step up to the plate and show them exactly how wrong they are about me. The fight isn't over until the fat lady sings. God help me.