i feel bitchy today which is weird because I really am in a good mood. School's been putting a lot of pressure on me lately. For starters, I have to do a script for our Intro to Broadcasting final exams. This should really be a cinch for me, even fun. But I have lost the enthusiasm I had for this scriptwriting thing and I know exactly why. It doesn't even help at all that my groupmates constantly demand. They think it's so easy to do a whole script on such short notice. The pressure to do it only builds up and the more I get pressured, the more my mind refuses to focus. And just this week, I got my midterm grade results from most of my professors. This is what I can say about it: IT SUCKS! Most of my grades are not what I expected them to be. I have worked my ass off damn it, I deserve better grades. So now, I am pressured even more. I need to have at least a grade of 85---yes, I know, my school's grading system is so highschool--- on every subject so I can once again become part of the honors list. I want to still be on that list. It's important to me. It's my identity in school. Other girls have acting, some have writing for the school paper, others have the debate team and the councils. I have the honors list...So if I'm not a lister, what am I then? Finals are fast approaching and I have to really get my brain in gear so I can really prepare for the exams. I know I have to study harder because it's obvious that the efforts I have been exerting for the midterm half is not enough. I cannot lose focus.

And speaking of pressure, I get one too from the parental units. No, it's not about Alex and our relationship anymore. They moved on to my church duties. You see, since I was in sixth grade I've been serving the church as a lector/commentator during Sunday masses. Now I'm 18 and in College and I'm still part of that church organization...but things are no longer the same now...At least not for me. Now, it feels like serving in the church is an obligation. I feel as though I am obliged to stay and serve in the church because my parents want me to. The Catholic family model, that's us. We all serve in the church but unlike them, my reason to stay is more of being obliged to. I want to quit the org. I really do. But how do I tell my parents when I know it'll disappoint them?

Today is Valentine's Day and I'm homebound like every other Valentine's Day that had passed by. I'm pretty sure the malls are crowded with couples dating. By the end of this day, a lot of girls will be going home with stuff toys, flowers and chocolates by their hands. Both guys and girls alike will be all googly-eyed staring at each other, grinning like fools and never feel embarassed about it because they're in love and Valentine's Day gives them the perfect excuse to act that way. Nooo. This is not going to be a cynical entry mocking those people who celebrate this day and gagging at the thought. Because honestly I long to be part of that crowd. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is still missing in action. Last I heard from him, he's out with his family celebrating Valentine's Day together. Alex and his family have this bonding thing going on. They're even part of that family who treats Sundays as family day. I, on the other hand bond diffrently with my family. Want an example? Today is V-day. When I woke up this morning I simply greeted both of them Happy Valentine's and then, it's back to normal in this household. Am not complaining though. At least we're okay. With that, I'm already satisfied. And although I wish to actually spend this day with him, I can't protest. It's his family after all so I have to understand him... Oh well. Maybe I'll still get to spend some time with him. It's only four o'clock in the afternoon...

gawd! i missed blogging. haven't been able to blog 'cos my mom had been complaining about my obsessive use of internet. BUT that really isn't true. Anyhow at least after i laid off the net for awhile, i got her off my back.
well what can i say? so far, everything in my life's been going all right...except maybe for a few disturbances from the slut. before that, i shall recall the happy memories first...

i've been seeing alex a lot. i'm definitely impressed by that. 'cos honestly when he said he's serious about me, i had my doubt but he proved me wrong. when he gave me his word that we would see each other more often than before, i had my doubt...but he lived up to his word. he still is actually. and every moment i spend with him, makes me love him even more. we got to go out on our second monthsary. he surprised me that day by giving me a cute puppy which i named nicky. he's a japanese pitz and he's so adorable!:D that day, we went to see a movie and ate dinner afterwards--- all on him. wow! could my guy be any more wonderful than that? i love him so much. he makes every waking day of my life a whole lot better. ain't nothing better than the feeling of being in love. oh and today, my hardwork for last sem has been recognized. yep, i am once again part of the honor roll. the news absolutely thrilled my parental units and of course yours truly.

okay, now on to the slut. two weeks ago, she texted me, claiming that my boyfriend's playing games with me. she claimed that he was the person who told her this and the reason she's telling me this? she's "concerned". it was up to me to if i would believe her or not. when i opened my friendster account tonight, there was a message from her. apparently, she has read my new testimonial to Alex and got pissed. she said, she's the true girlfriend so I should back off and get lost. Get lost? me? Not a chance. I'm the real girlfriend, damn her. She's just jealous because it's a fact. And she's so not concerned. She only wants him to herself but like i said, she's not going to have him back. Moron. Asshole. That's her. Now, can anyone say I'm being judgemental here when in fact she really is all the above? Go. to. hell. slut. And the last i heard from her, she texted me with a message that she's giving way for Alex and I. She says I should love him and take care of him because she loves him so much. There's no need to tell me to love Alex because I do. I hope it's the last i hear from her. Although, i really don't believe she's giving way for us that easily because if i'm not mistaken, it was just a couple of weeks ago when she tried to break us up. I'm not stupid.

i guess that's life...no matter how happy you are, someone or something will almost always be there to try and ruin it. but one thing's for sure, i'm not going to let her ruin the happy relationship Alex and i have.

happy 2 months Alex.